


Waiting for a Train

by Tifer14



Series: Strangers on a Train [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:32:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tifer14/pseuds/Tifer14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That one night on the train just isn't enough but is it all that they're going to get?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting for a Train

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to story X of my alphabet challenge. You should probably read that one first or this won't make a lot of sense.

“Alright, that case was awful and horrible and terrible and ick. Baby pandas are not cutting it. We are going out tonight to welcome my littlest G-man to the team. No exceptions. That means you, Bossman.” Garcia pointed one manicured figure in his direction and attempted a glare of her own but Hotch just smiled and nodded. It wasn’t his weekend with Jack anyway and he really had no desire to sit in his empty apartment. Plus, Spencer would be there and even if there was nothing between them he was still looking forward to spending more time with him and getting to know him. One night of amazing sex on a train just wasn’t enough and even if they could only be friends then he wanted to know everything about Dr. Spencer Reid. It might have been a little stalkerish but Hotch must have read through his file a dozen times now, marvelling at how much he had achieved in such a short space of time. Three PhDs, a handful of other degrees, he’d spent time lecturing at Oxford University, and there was an odd gap in the file that suggested some covert work probably with the CIA if Hotch was reading correctly between the lines. It would also explain how he was fast-tracked through the academy to the BAU. He would have liked to offer Reid a lift to the bar but he was already being propelled out the room by Morgan. Spencer was chatting animatedly as Morgan draped an arm around his neck and guided him into the elevator. Aaron felt himself bristle but reeled it back in. Spencer wasn’t his. Spencer was just a friend and he was entitled to have other friends and even boyfriends. The thought made him feel a little ill but he wasn’t about to face Garcia’s digital wrath by making his excuses and going home to his depressingly quiet apartment.

 

His mood was buoyed when they arrived at the bar and Spencer planted himself on a barstool next to Hotch and Rossi with no apparent intention of moving in the direction of the dancefloor with the younger team members. Morgan wasn’t as pleased with this turn of events.

 

“Pretty Boy! You’re not just going to sit here all night, are you?”

 

“Umm, yes. Why not?”

 

“You really want to be stuck with these old guys – “

 

“Hey!” Rossi protested

 

“When you could be out making moves on those pretty ladies?”

 

“He does have a point,” Rossi murmured, looking over his glass at the group of young women moving in the middle of the dancefloor.

 

Even in the dim light of the dance bar, Hotch could see the deep blush spreading over Spencer’s cheeks. He’d only been with the team for a month but already he seemed to have formed a bond with Morgan. Hotch was glad. Sometimes Morgan’s teasing of younger team members verged on bullying but apparently Reid was mature enough to take it all in his stride and gave as good as he got. Hotch wasn’t surprised when he saw the moment where Reid straightened his shoulders and decided to just come out and say it: “Um, they’re very pretty ladies but pretty ladies aren’t really my thing.” Spencer may have been contemplating his drink but Hotch saw the brief look of surprise on Morgan’s face before his agent shrugged.

 

“Fair enough, Pretty Boy. You want me to keep an eye out for your Prince Charming?”

 

“God, no.” Spencer laughed but his lack of protest when Morgan ruffled his hair spoke his gratitude clearly to his new friend.

 

The three men sat with their drinks at the bar while the rest of their team let loose on the dancefloor. It was nice being out as a team. They didn’t do it enough but still Hotch couldn’t fully relax, couldn’t stop the way his eyes kept flicking to Spencer’s profile as the younger man watched Morgan dance with two of the girls from the group he’d been eyeing.

 

“So, Aaron,” Rossi broke into the silence, “did that guy from the train ever call you?” Both Hotch and Reid jumped slightly, catching each other’s eye warily before looking away. Luckily Rossi misinterpreted, “Oh come on, Reid. You think you’re the only one on the team who swings both ways or for the other team or, fuck, you know what I mean. And the military may be all ‘don’t ask; don’t tell’ but I believe in an open working environment. So, I ask; you tell.”

 

Hotch cleared his throat, “Just to tell me that he couldn’t be in a relationship now due to work commitments.”

 

“That’s bullshit, Aaron. You should’ve pushed him.”

 

“It wasn’t my place, Dave.” His tone was firm, absolutely conveying the unspoken ‘drop it’ but Rossi rarely liked orders, spoken or otherwise.

 

“Let’s see what you make of this, kid. So, Hotch got the train back from this case because he’d got blown up on a previous case and screwed up his ears so badly he couldn’t fly. Stupid ass that he is, he didn’t tell us and flew out anyway nearly deafening himself. Anyway, I put him on the train back and he meets this guy. Must’ve been some night because Agent No-Smile here was actually grinning when he got into work the next day. He should go after the guy, right?”

 

“Umm, I don’t know.”

 

“Come on, kid. Throw in your two cents. I won’t let him fire you.”

 

“I’m sure that the other man was honest when he said that he was focusing on his work no matter what his feelings about Hotch were.”

 

Dave threw up his hands and downed his drink. “You’re no help at all. I’m going to talk to that blonde at the end of the bar. I’m sure she’s much more agreeable.”

 

Spencer shifted on his barstool and rolled his empty glass between his palms. “Would you like another, drink?”

 

“Is that a good idea?” Hotch murmured.

 

Spencer shrugged. “You never told me your ear ache was from an explosion. Was it the one in New York?” Hotch nodded. “An agent was killed.”

 

“Kate.” Hotch motioned for the bartender to re-fill their drinks. If they were going to talk about Kate then alcohol was a very good idea.

 

“She wasn’t with the BAU.”

 

“No, but I’d worked with her before. We were friends.”

 

“I’m sorry.” The bartender slid their drinks across the bar and Hotch motioned to put it on the tab. Spencer bit into his lower lip before looking steadily into Hotch’s eyes, “I would’ve called you if you hadn’t been, well, you. I mean, I intended to call Aaron that night once I’d got settled into the BAU.”

 

“Oh, that’s good to know, I guess.”

 

The silence reminded Hotch of the awkward beginnings of the conversation on the train and he couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Spencer looked at him quizzically. “I was just thinking about how awful my lines were on the train. I genuinely asked about your hobbies.”

 

Spencer’s face split with that blinding grin that Hotch had missed so much. “Hey, don’t mock that line. You should use it again. I mean, it worked.”

 

“I don’t think it would work for anyone but you, Spencer.”

 

“Aaron, I – “

 

“Married. Happily married. Goddamn happily married people,” Rossi groused as he slid back onto his seat. “Guess it’s just us old divorcees and the kid, Aaron.”

 

“You’re divorced?” Spencer’s eyebrows shot up.

 

“Yeah, three times but I hear number four is the charm.”

 

“I don’t think he was asking about you, Dave.” Aaron drawled. “Yes, Reid. I also have a son, Jack.” Hotch’s eyes bored into Spencer who looked absolutely terrified. Even Rossi was watching the interaction now with interest.

 

“Oh,” was all Spencer was able to muster before he swivelled in his seat to watch the rest of the team still on the dancefloor.

 

Rossi raised an eyebrow but Hotch just shrugged and changed the subject. The conversation eventually turned to Rossi’s books and Spencer freaked him out by quoting passages back at him until Hotch decided that it was time they called it a night.

 

“So, kid, what direction are you in?” Rossi asked, sliding his card across the bar to cover everyone’s drinks.

 

“Oh, um, Morgan said he’d take me home.”

 

“You really want to wait around until this place closes?”

 

Spencer sighed, “No. I’m over in Dupoint Circle.”

 

“Ah, you’re right near Aaron.” Hotch nodded his agreement and motioned for Reid to follow him to his car. “See you on Monday.”

 

“Night, Dave.”

 

“Good night, Rossi.”

 

The two men walked in silence to Aaron’s Audi SUV, a silence which continued uncomfortably once they were inside and Aaron was navigating the rain slick streets.

 

“I didn’t know you were married,” Spencer blurted out suddenly.

 

“I’m not. I’m divorced,” Aaron frowned, “long before I met you on that train. I wouldn’t do that.” Aaron’s hands twisted the leather of the steering wheel and Spencer figured that there was a story behind his aversion to infidelity. Aaron sighed. “It bothers you that I have a son.”

 

It wasn’t a question. “It’s none of my business.”

 

“You said you would have called, you know, if I wasn’t your boss. If you’d known about Jack, would you still have wanted to see me?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m not good with children.”

 

Aaron scoffed and looked over at Spencer. “You’re a magician, Reid.”

 

“So?”

 

“Jack would say that’s awesome.”

 

Spencer smiled softly. “How old is he?”

 

“He’s almost five. Look,” Aaron fumbled with his phone, one eye still on the road before handing it to Spencer. There was a little blonde boy smiling up at the camera.

 

“He’s cute,” Spencer offered placing the phone on the console between them. “How often do you get to see him? I mean, you know with work and everything.”

 

“Not as often as I’d like to,” Hotch murmured sadly.

 

“That must be really tough but it’s good that you’d like to. My – my dad wasn’t really a part of my life.” Spencer swallowed heavily and gazed out the window.

 

“Sometimes it’s better that way,” Hotch whispered. Spencer turned sharply to look at him but he was entirely focused on driving. Another story there.

 

They lapsed into silence, with only Spencer’s muttered directions to his apartment, until Hotch pulled into a parking space next to Spencer’s newly acquired but still ancient Amazon. Hotch almost reached for the ignition but left the engine running as Spencer unclipped his belt and turned in his seat. Hotch turned and raised one hand just slightly as if he was about to reach for the younger man, who grasped for the door handle and shifted away. “Thanks for the lift, Hotch.”

 

Hotch dropped his hand instantly. “No problem, Reid,” he sounded so sad but Spencer slid out the car and walked briskly to his door without looking back once. Once he was in his apartment, he threw himself onto his sofa and groaned in frustration. It would have been so easy to ask Aaron up here and take him to bed but Spencer had worked so hard to get into the BAU. Sure, on paper it looked like this had been handed to him but he’d fought to get transferred out of the CIA and into the BAU. It had been his dream ever since he’d seen Gideon lecture when he was still at CalTech. Here, he could make a difference; do some good. He wasn’t going to throw that away for a man, not even a man as perfect as Aaron Hotchner seemed to be.

 

*****

 

“So, did you have a nice night on Friday?” Rossi asked with a smirk as he sauntered into Hotch’s office.

 

“Yes?” Aaron asked slowly, one eyebrow raised as he put down his pen. “You were there, you know?”

 

“I meant after I left you and the kid.”

 

“I drove him home, Dave. It was riveting.”

 

“I’ll bet it was.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Oh come on, Aaron! I could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife. So, what happened?”

 

“I drove him home.”

 

“Seriously? That’s it? That’s depressing. You need to live a little. Get back in the saddle.”

 

“You’re using cowboy metaphors. You’re from Long Island. I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to use cowboy metaphors.”

 

“You’re hilarious, Aaron. Don’t quit your day job.”

 

“As if I ever would.”

 

“Is that it? The job? You know those rules are guidelines at best.”

 

“Firstly, no they are there for several very good reasons and secondly, I am not interested in a relationship with Reid.”

 

“Relationship? Jesus, Aaron, you’ve got it bad. I was just talking about getting some. You know, get your mind off Haley and that train guy. What was his name anyway?”

 

“It’s not important.”

 

“Not important?”

 

“No.” Aaron looked down at his desk and instantly regretted the weakness. He should have held his gaze. Rossi may be an ass but he could read him like a book.

 

“Oh, Santa Maria, Reid is train guy.”

 

Hotch just sighed giving in to the urge to run a hand over his face since the game was up anyway. “Drop it, Dave.”

 

“Wow! That must have been awkward when he walked in. What did you say?”

 

“Dave, enough. We’re professionals. It won’t affect our ability to work together.”

 

“Ha, and then I brought it up at the bar. Though, the kid’s got feelings for you. He admitted it. You should go after him, Aaron.”

 

“Stop now.”

 

“He made you happy. I mean, I don’t see what you see but something clicked between you two. Get back on the bike. I’m still allowed cycling metaphors, right?”

 

“Dave, even putting our professional positions aside, Spencer doesn’t want a middle-aged divorcee with a kid. I’m not who he thought I was on that train. End of story.”

 

Rossi paused and looked out the window over the bullpen, just catching Reid staring up at Hotch’s office with a look of such longing that it pulled at Rossi’s romantic heartstrings. “I hope you know that’s not true, Aaron. There are ways around those regulations. When you’re ready to take a chance let me know and I’ll make it happen for you.” Without giving his friend a chance to reply, he stood up and walked out, closing the door behind him. Hotch looked down at the bullpen, indulging in a moment of watching Spencer laugh at something Emily said, his head thrown back exposing his long neck, the delectable curve of his throat. He remembered every inch of Spencer’s naked body, he could still get drunk on the memory of the way he tasted. But even though taking a chance was something Hotch could do without hesitation in the field, Aaron had learned to be more circumspect with his heart. Shame he had already given it away to Spencer Reid on that train.

 

*****

 

Weeks went by, cases passed, some had good results and some bad. Rossi looked increasingly exasperated as Hotch and Reid became better friends but Aaron made absolutely no romantic overtures. He respected Spencer’s wishes and he intimately knew that dream of being in the BAU. Hell, it was all he’d thought about when he was in SWAT and his dedication had cost him his marriage. He wasn’t about to take that from Reid no matter what he desired or Rossi believed was possible. Anyway, there was still Reid’s aversion to Jack and that was Hotch’s deal breaker. His son was part of the package. Anyone who wanted to be with Aaron Hotchner would have to love Jack just as much. Aaron had faith in Spencer. He saw the near limitless capacity to love in the younger man. A streak of empathy ran so deep in him that he would even extend it to Unsubs, which led to some tense discussions with his unit chief about safety in the field and not attempting to save everyone.

 

So, he took what he could get from Spencer. Morgan became Spencer’s best friend and annoying older brother all in one. JJ his big sister. Emily was his movie partner. He had “Dork Squad” meetings (as Morgan jokingly called their Doctor Who nights) with Garcia. Dave became his mentor, though he still said the quoting freaked him out, which made Spencer do it twice as much. And Hotch, well, Hotch carved out a little niche for himself in Spencer’s life. Conversation became easy between them but it was in the silences that he felt they truly communicated. They generally shared hotel rooms since Rossi’s snoring brought out the homicidal side of Hotch and Reid’s brotherly affection for Morgan did not extend to tolerating the fact that he couldn’t pick up after himself. And if sometimes Hotch would escape to the shower after lying on Reid’s bed going over case files, well he was only human and being next to Spencer still drove him wild. They never talked about their night together on the train but that too found its home in the silences.

 

Hotch was content with what they had, or at least that’s what he told himself.

 

*****

 

Spencer squinted at the blonde kid next to him peering up at the triceratops skeleton on exhibition at the National Museum of Natural History. He looked familiar, which was weird since Spencer was pretty sure he didn’t know any kids unless they were missing or murdered. And wasn’t that an indictment of his obsession with his job. The kid looked up and gave him a glare that also seemed bizarrely familiar. Spencer tried a smile but the kid turned and ran off. When Spencer dared to look over his shoulder, he saw that the kid was pointing at him, probably talking to his father, who was bent over so that all Spencer could see was the back of his black polo shirt. Great. Now he was going to be accused of god knows what. Good thing he carried his badge on him at all times. Then the father stood, turned, and Spencer knew exactly why the stupid kid looked so familiar.

 

“Hi Reid,” Aaron greeted him with an amused grin playing at the edges of his mouth.

 

“Hotch,” Spencer murmured back, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking on his heels.

 

“Jack, this is Dr. Reid. We work together. Reid, my son Jack. He doesn’t shake hands,” he added in a stage whisper when Jack started to offer his hand like he’d seen his Daddy do so many times.

 

“So, he’s not trying to kidnap me?” Jack whispered back, still darting nervous glances to Reid.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“No, God no, Hotch. He just looked familiar and I couldn’t figure out from where.”

 

“Oh, Daddy’s got pictures of me in his office,” Jack offered and grinned.

 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Spencer mumbled and looked around for suitable escape routes.

 

“Dad, can we go eat now?”

 

“Sure. Reid, you want to join us?” Spencer’s eyes got startling wide he shook his head frantically but Hotch just grinned at his son. Spencer noticed that his eyes took on a subtle slant, like they did when he was planning a raid. He was definitely plotting something. “You know, Jack, Dr. Reid is also a magician.”

 

“You’re a magician?” Jack exclaimed, drawing attention from some of the other kids around them.

 

“Um, yes?”

 

“That is so cool! You have to come to lunch with us. Please?” Morgan may have joked about Reid’s puppy eyes but they had nothing on the ones Jack turned on him right now. When he chanced a glance at Hotch and saw an expression of such unbridled hope on his face he couldn’t help but acquiesce with a nod. “Awesome!” Jack punched the air and started walking to the exit with his Dad and Reid following in his wake.

 

“I believe I told you he’d think you’re awesome.”

 

“He called me cool, Aaron. I don’t think that epithet has ever been attached to me before.”

 

Hotch turned a little to catch Spencer’s eye and grinned, “I think you’re cool, Spencer.”

 

Reid knew that he should never have made eye contact with those Hotchner dimples. They had magical powers and he felt himself melting into a little puddle of stupidly grinning mush. This wasn’t the Hotch he’d come to know at work. The man in front of him was relaxed in worn jeans and a black polo shirt. He smiled easily. Sure, Spencer liked spending time with Hotch but this was Aaron the man he’d met on the train and he didn’t think his defences were prepared for that.

 

Lunch was surprisingly enjoyable and stress-free. Jack was a sweet kid, even more talkative than Reid himself. Spencer made coins disappear and reappear, he pulled a deck of cards out his bag and amused both the Hotchner men with a few card tricks. Hotch never stopped smiling once and it warmed something unnameable inside Spencer that he was the one who brought that grin to Aaron’s face. But still, all through the meal, he made sure to remind himself that Hotch was his boss, not his boyfriend. There could never be anything between them, no matter how much either of them might desire it.

 

After lunch there was another trip around the dinosaur exhibition, this time with Spencer as a guide since Hotch had told his son that Dr. Reid could answer any question he asked. Reid had tried to tell Jack that he did not, in fact, know everything but Jack was quite taken with Spencer and refused to believe that was true. Especially, as he informed Reid with a pointed look, his Daddy wouldn’t lie. Hotch offered Reid a lift back home as repayment for his time. Spencer protested that he was literally a few minutes away from his apartment but Hotch insisted. That few minute ride was greatly extended since they ended up driving out to the suburbs as Hotch had failed to mention that he would be dropping Jack off at his ex-wife’s first. Reid sat shifting nervously in the passenger’s seat as Haley Hotchner walked out to the car, to meet her son.

 

“Who’s that in the car, Aaron?”

 

“That’s Reid, we work together.” Reid waved through the window before looking down at his phone.

 

“He’s a magician,” Jack mumbled sleepily from his father’s shoulder.

 

“The BAU employs magicians now?” Haley asked with a small smile. She was beautiful, blonde, perfect, Spencer noted. Together, they made a great couple. He couldn’t have imagined anything possibly going wrong between them. He hoped his hunch that she had cheated on Hotch wasn’t true. He tuned out the rest of the conversation until he heard the car door shut and Hotch let out a big sigh. He paused for a moment, head drooping as Spencer looked at his profile nervously feeling that he’d never seen Hotch look so broken.

 

“Thank you. I know I kinda lured you here, not really a great way to act considering our line of work,” Hotch tried to smile but failed. “I just hate being alone after I drop Jack off.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay. Do you want to get a drink?” Spencer asked, one hand reached up to rub Aaron’s shoulder of its own volition.

 

“Yeah, that would be good. Where?”

 

“Well, what do you feel like?”

 

“Something strong. Honestly, Reid, I don’t care.”

 

Spencer hesitated for a moment but cleared his throat and steeled himself, “I’ve got a good bottle of whiskey at my place and a drawer full of take-out menus.” Aaron regarded him steadily for a moment before smiling slightly and putting the car into drive.

 

Perhaps Spencer should have been unnerved that Hotch remembered the way to his apartment having only driven him there once and never having been inside but it seemed entirely natural. As they climbed the stairs, it felt like they’d done this a hundred times before. Still, he felt really exposed as Hotch stood in the middle of his living room and looked at the walls of bookshelves, his desk with the half-finished letter to his mother on it, his old battered sofa that was surprisingly comfortable, and the small framed picture of his mother on the side table. Hotch said nothing and Reid left him in favour of fetching the whiskey and a couple of glasses from the kitchen.

 

When he returned, Aaron was sitting on the couch, his head on the backrest and his hands over his eyes. He lowered them when Spencer sat next to him, nudging a glass against his thigh.

 

“Thanks,” Hotch murmured and took a hearty sip. “Sorry to be like this. It’s hard having to say goodbye to Jack.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“I don’t. I really really don’t understand how it came to this.”

 

“Aaron, it’s okay. He’s your son. Of course, you want to be with him all the time but sometimes things between adults don’t work out. If you want to talk it out, we can do that. If you don’t, then we can watch sports or something.”

 

“Sports?”

 

“Football?”

 

“Reid, it’s summer.”

 

“There’s no football in summer?”

 

“No, not so much.”

 

“Oh. Do you even like football?”

 

“No, that would be Morgan.”

 

“Baseball?”

 

“Gideon.”

 

“Well, I guess I was forgetting you were a total nerd at school with your coin collection. I’m sure the history channel has a very manly documentary on right now.”

 

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh and Spencer grinned back at him in return, feeling that the greatest accomplishment of his life up until this point was getting Aaron Hotchner to laugh. They ended up ordering pizza and sitting on the sofa with a beer. The TV remained off. Aaron couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this comfortable and it loosened his tongue.

 

“She had an affair.” Spencer quirked one eyebrow and lay back against the armrest, his toes just pressing against Aaron’s thigh. Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off Spencer’s ridiculous socks. There was no way that those were mismatched by accident. One was a lurid pink while the other was brown with lime green polka dots. Still, there was something soothing about that nausea inducing collection of colours, when they were exerting just the slightest hint of pressure against his muscles, relaxing him. He let one hand curl around Spencer’s ankle, the other raised his bottle for another sip. Heaving a sigh, he finally unburdened the secret he hadn’t even been able to tell Dave. “I knew. It had been going on for a while and she wasn’t subtle. I just – I didn’t want her to leave because I didn’t want to come home to an empty house. I didn’t want Jack to live apart from his Dad so I kept my mouth shut.” He stopped, his thumb tracing little circles on the delicate bone of Spencer’s ankle.

 

“Until?” Spencer prompted.

 

“Nothing. There was no until. She left me, Spencer. I would have let that continue indefinitely if it meant keeping my family together but then she left. I was offered the opportunity to leave the BAU and transfer to white collar crimes. It would have been nine to five. She wanted me to take it and I didn’t. She said I chose my job over our family. I did. I chose the BAU and she walked out.”

 

Spencer blew out a heavy breath and drained his own beer. “You couldn’t have done that, Aaron. We don’t choose this job, not really, it chooses us.”

 

Aaron laughed harshly, “You mean you were recruited.”

 

Spencer shook his head. “You know that’s not what I mean. Even though, yeah, I was. I’m sure you can more or less figure out that the missing years in my file are things I can’t talk about but that’s not my point. This is who we are.”

 

“I know. I even said that. She said it’s what we do.”

 

“Also true but we do it because we can’t do anything else.”

 

“That’s really sad, you know.”

 

“Maybe, but normal is boring.”

 

“Your socks don’t match,” Hotch shifted in his seat so he was facing Spencer, his hand now clasping the back of his calf. He’d maybe had a bit too much to drink again even though he’d been nursing this beer for an hour and the whiskey was a memory but he felt bold, confident. “How come?”

 

“It’s good luck.”

 

“Really?” Aaron hitched an eyebrow. “I thought that was horseshoes and rabbits’ feet.”

 

Spencer’s breath faltered as Aaron massaged the tense muscles in the back of his calf. “Aaron,” he moaned. He stared into Aaron’s dark brown eyes before seeming to come to a decision. “Fuck it,” he murmured under his breath before leaning forward enough to press a light kiss to Aaron’s lips.

 

Aaron groaned in reply and shifted, pulling Spencer onto his lap, his large hands kneading at his ass as he hungrily devoured his lips. Spencer shifted so their groins aligned and ground down, twisting his hips and leaving Aaron gasping for air.

 

“I thought you didn’t want this,” Aaron panted, holding Spencer at arm’s length and staring into his eyes.

 

Spencer huffed out a breath and his hair fanned out in front of his eyes. He wrested his hand free from Aaron’s grip to tuck the loose locks behind his ear. “Can we just do this without talking about it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Jesus, Aaron. Let’s just have sex, you’ll feel better, I’ll feel great, and then we’ll go back to how we were.”

 

“I can’t do that, Spencer. That’s just – I’m not that guy.”

 

“You were that guy on the train.”

 

“That was different. I didn’t know you then and really, I wasn’t. I gave you my number hoping I would see you again and we could date.”

 

“Aaron,” Spencer leaned his forehead on Aaron’s shoulder, “that sounds great and if things were different I would love to date you but you’re my boss. There are rules.”

 

“Those rules also apply to us having sex.”

 

“Sex is easier to compartmentalise.”

 

“Not for me, and especially not with you.”

 

Spencer sighed again as his heart suddenly seemed to expand in his chest, “You can’t say those things, Aaron.”

 

“Why not? It’s true. Seeing you with Jack today confirmed it for me.”

 

“I’m terrible with children.”

 

“Jack adored you.”

 

“Your son is as crazy as you are.”

 

“I think we could work.”

 

“That’s the problem. We do work. Together. You’re my boss.”

 

“Rossi says that there’s ways round those rules and he should know, most of those rules are in place because of him.”

 

“You told Rossi about us?” Spencer’s voice got all squeaky when he was nervous and Hotch privately thought it was adorable but now probably wasn’t the time to mention that.

 

“He figured out that you were the guy on the train.” Spencer groaned and his head fell forward onto Aaron’s shoulder. “Hey, never say David Rossi isn’t good at reading people. It’s okay, Spencer, really.”

 

“How is this okay, Aaron? I’m going to be accused of sleeping my way onto the team. People are already questioning how I managed to fast track my way through the academy. They see that my physical abilities are below the rest of the team and that my marksmanship scores are average at best.”

 

“I can help you with that.”

 

“Yeah, that’s just what I need,” Spencer shuffled backwards slightly but there wasn’t far to go when he was sitting on Aaron’s lap, “hours with you plastered to my back at the gun range.” Hotch’s cock took a distinct interest in that image and he shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t even understand what you want.”

 

“I want you, it’s simple.”

 

“I’m offering that.” Spencer murmured and tried to catch Aaron’s lips again.

 

“For one night? It’s not enough.”

 

“Aaron, this isn’t how it goes. We don’t get to live happily ever after in some gay paradise. We work for the FBI. You’re my boss. Can you imagine the outcry if this came out? If we came out? I’m not even sure how the team would react.”

 

“Morgan might castrate me,” Hotch conceded. “But only because he’s very protective of you. I think Prentiss and JJ would be fine with it. Dave’s practically pushing us together and Garcia would probably make us rainbow cupcakes or something.”

 

Spencer slid off Aaron’s lap and curled in on himself. “You’ve known them a lot longer than I have. I don’t have that level of trust that you do.”

 

“Then trust me.”

 

“Can I point out that I barely know you, as well?” Aaron laughed but reached out and tugged Spencer’s into a hug. “This is unfair. You’re manipulating me with your amazing hugs and the promise of amazing sex.”

 

“It was amazing. Seems only fair to repeat it.”

 

“But you want more than that.”

 

“I want everything, Spencer.”

 

“I don’t think I can do that. There’s things you don’t know about me.”

 

“I’d like to get to know you.”

 

Spencer pulled back and looked into Aaron’s eyes. They seemed to be a lighter shade of brown, filled with hope and shockingly earnest. He had already formed another protest in his mind but one look at those eyes and it seemed to dissipate into nothingness. “I need to think about this,” was what he said instead, shocking even himself, “If we do this, and I mean if, we will be totally open with the team. I hate subterfuge.”

 

“I agree.” Aaron leaned in for a kiss but Spencer held him off with one raised hand.

 

“Look, Aaron, just give me some time to think about this. You’re asking for an awful lot.”

 

“I’m just asking for you to give us a chance.”

 

“And if circumstances were different then that wouldn’t be such a loaded question but it is. Time, that’s all I want.”

 

“Ok. I can do that.” And he would. It wouldn’t be easy but he would. Taking that as his cue to leave, Aaron walked to the door. Looking back at the sofa, he caught Spencer’s eye and managed a small smile. Time. That was fair enough.

 

*****

 

His resolve was already wavering by Monday morning. It just wasn’t like him to sit back and let things happen. The last time he’d tried that he’d ended up convincing himself to stay married to a woman who was cheating on him. And then she’d left him. He wanted Spencer and he knew that they would make a good couple. Of course, the final decision was in the younger man’s hands but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t do a little reconnaissance in the meantime.

 

“Can I speak to you for a moment, Dave?” Hotch hesitated uncharacteristically in his friend’s doorway.

 

“Sure, Aaron. Say, why don’t we go grab a bite to eat?” Aaron just nodded his head and left to grab his jacket before following Dave down to the parking garage. Dave drove them out the a little hole in the wall restaurant near their offices where the proprietor smiled broadly at them and had a glass of wine in front of each of them before they’d even picked up their menus.

 

“What did you do for him?” Aaron murmured with a small smirk. “Get him off a murder charge?”

 

“I got his brother-in-law twenty-five to life for nearly killing his sister. She lives in Oklahoma now with the kids.” Aaron raised one eyebrow but looked quite pleased. Rossi didn’t comment. He knew all about the nightmare that had been Aaron’s childhood with an abusive father from late night conversations in shitty hotel rooms over the years. Domestic abuse was one of his triggers. They all had them. The owner came and took their orders with a broad smile and clapped Rossi on the shoulder before leaving them to their wine and conversation. “So, I take it we’re here to talk about Reid.”

 

“I’d like to know about how to get around the regulations.”

 

“Good on you, Aaron.”

 

“It’s not a sure thing yet, Dave. He’s asked for some time to think about it and I’ll respect whatever his final decision is but I’d like to be prepared.”

 

“I’ve already had a chat with John, purely hypothetically.”

 

“You had a casual chat with the director of the FBI about my sex life?”

 

“I didn’t name names exactly but he figured it out pretty fast. From the way he talked about Reid, making sure that we were treating him well and all that, I’d say they have some history there. Seems to me that he sees him like a son. He’d do anything to make that boy happy. If you’re what’s making him happy then you’ll have friends in high places. That being said, John’s old school like me so if you hurt Reid I’m pretty sure he’ll put you in the Potomac.”

 

“Good to know.” They paused as their food was placed on the table. “What else?”

 

“I should take over all of Reid’s evaluations and the rest is on you. You’re the one who’ll need to work on remaining objective in the field. That’ll be the hard part. You already share a room whenever you’re away so no one will give a crap if you start sharing a bed too as long as you’re not too loud.”

 

“Dave.”

 

“What?”

 

“Never mind.” Hotch breathed out a sigh of relief.

 

“So what changed?”

 

“Nothing really. We met by accident while I was with Jack at the Smithsonian. Jack adores him already and then Spencer stayed with me after I dropped Jack off. You know that first night without him is always hard and it was good having someone to talk to and share a beer with.”

 

Rossi just nodded and the conversation trailed off into the inconsequential.

 

Spencer watched Hotch leave for lunch with Rossi. He could guess what the topic of their discussion was going to be. Hotch might think that he was being sneaky but he was not sneaky and, anyway, John had called Spencer after his discussion with Rossi. At first, Spencer thought it was just a check-up to confirm that his sobriety was intact even with all the horrors he saw in the BAU but his sponsor and old friend quickly manoeuvred the conversation into more personal areas leaving Spencer red with embarrassment as he had to admit to the director of the FBI that he had unknowingly slept with his future boss on a train.

 

“Morgan, want to get some lunch?”

 

Morgan looked up from his work with a grin. “Hell, yes. Let’s get out of here. Should I get the girls?”

 

“Um, no? How about just us?”

 

Morgan looked at him with that irritatingly discerning look he usually kept hidden. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Morgan was really good at his job when he hid his keen intellect behind his frat boy persona and Reid shifted uncomfortably. “Sure thing. You’re buying, right?”

 

Reid grinned. “Sure. Ramen noodles it is.”

 

“Screw you.” Morgan jostled his shoulder as they headed to the elevator. Once they were seated on a park bench with burritos from the best food cart near Quantico he turned that look on Reid again. “So what’s eating you Pretty Boy?”

 

Reid swallowed heavily and gathered his thoughts. “So, you know I’m gay?”

 

“Yeah. It doesn’t bother me. You know that, right?”

 

“Yeah, yeah I do and that means a lot. You know I feel like I fit with the team, like I haven’t anywhere else. It’s nice. I wish I’d got here sooner.”

 

“How much sooner could you have got here? Seriously, man, you’re like what eighteen?”

 

“I’m thirty, Derek!”

 

“I know. You’ve just got a baby face is all.”

 

“Yeah, cursed with eternal youth and genius. Sigh.”

 

“Yeah yeah, rub it in. So, what was bothering you anyway?”

 

“I met someone.”

 

“That’s great!”

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“It always is, kid.”

 

“Not a kid but, whatever, I met him before the BAU and would have liked to pursue it but now it’s really complicated.”

 

“Just spit it out, Reid.”

 

“I’m considering a relationship with Hotch and would like to know how you’d feel about that.”

 

“Hotch as in our boss Hotch?”

 

“Do you know another Hotch?”

 

“No, I just thought he was straight. I mean, you know he was married?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve met Jack, as well.”

 

“You guys are serious.”

 

“No. We’re not together.”

 

“You know what? I’m confused. Start from the beginning.”

 

So Reid once again found himself explaining how he slept with his future boss after meeting him on the train to DC.

 

“Picking up a guy on the train, that’s game.”

 

“I spilled his drink over him.” Reid corrected wryly.

 

“And you still got into his pants.”

 

“I think that would only work with Aaron.”

 

“Aaron?”

 

“I have slept with him and I didn’t know his surname then.”

 

“Damn, Pretty Boy, didn’t even know the full name of your booty call. You’re re-writing my worldview of both you and Hotch.”

 

“And?”

 

“And what?”

 

“Would you be okay with us pursuing this relationship?”

 

“You asking for my blessing?”

 

“Morgan, I’m serious. This would probably affect the team. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise that.”

 

“Look, Spencer, the way I see it, you two have feelings for each other and it seems that they run pretty deep despite the fact that you barely know each other. We’re all looking for that. You got lucky. Who am I to stand in the way of that? If you guys have managed for the past six months then I don’t see why it’ll change once you make it official. It’ll be up to you both to keep it separate when we’re in the field so that’s on you. You’ve gotta be sure though. You know you’re like my little brother but I’ve worked with Hotch for a long time. He gives 100% to everything. He’ll love with all he’s got. I’ve never seen him so broken as when Haley left him. I don’t want to see that again.”

 

“I know. I’ve seen it.” Spencer didn’t elaborate and Morgan just nodded.

 

“But you’ll always be second to the job.”

 

“I know that too.”

 

“I thought you might. Alright then. I give you my blessing or whatever the fuck this was all about.” Morgan jostled Spencer’s shoulder and threw his balled up wrapper into the nearest bin. “And if he ever hurts you, you just let me know. Though, I’ll be saying the same to him.”

 

“I reckon you’d have to beat Rossi to it.”

 

“Nah, kid. We’d team up. They’d never find your body.”

 

“True, with me dead you wouldn’t have a hope. I do wonder how you guys ever managed before my geographic profiles.” Morgan laughed and pushed Reid into a bush before pulling him out, brushing him off, and leading him back into the BAU. When they got there, Spencer looked up at Aaron’s office. The older man was leaning over some paperwork, head resting on one hand. Spencer watched him for a long moment and thought that maybe Aaron was right, maybe this could work.

 

*****

 

Hotch walked out of his office that evening rubbing his eyes and thinking, once again, that he was going to need to give in and get reading glasses.

 

“Hey,” Reid muttered softly from his desk as Hotch passed.

 

“Reid, what are you doing here this late?” Hotch looked around and saw that the rest of the bullpen was deserted.

 

Reid placed his book down on his desk and stood with a small smile. “Waiting for you. Let’s go get some food and head back to my place.”

 

Hotch’s mouth was suddenly dry. He clenched his fist around his briefcase as his gaze darted around the empty room. “Spencer?”

 

“Yup,” Spencer grinned at him and headed towards the elevators, leaving Hotch to trail after him.

 

Once the doors closed, Hotch turned to his subordinate, carefully angling his face away from the camera. “You’re sure?”

 

“Yup,” Spencer just smiled again and rocked on the balls of his feet. Hotch felt himself grinning in reply. The doors slid open on the parking garage and Reid paused. “I took the subway this morning.”

 

“Good. That’s good.” Hotch felt hot and awkward and desperate to get Reid somewhere without security cameras. His SUV sounded excellent at this moment. “I’m this way.” Reid followed him with a spring in his step. Hotch threw his briefcase into the back before sliding into the driver’s seat and forcing himself to calm down a little. His heart was racing and he was desperate to finally take Spencer in his arms. He’d only known him for a little over six months but the connection he felt with this man was indescribable. Spencer fastened his seatbelt with another small smile and Aaron sped out of the parking lot in the direction of Spencer’s apartment. They’d barely gone two blocks before Aaron pulled over into the parking lot of a supermarket and turned in his seat, pulling Spencer into a heated kiss.

 

“God, I missed you Spencer.”

 

Spencer stroked a hand down Aaron’s cheek enjoyed the rasp of stubble against his fingers. “I know. I missed you too. Take me home, Aaron. Please.”

 

Aaron grinned at him and moved the car back into drive before linking hands with the man he loved. Sure, he wouldn’t say those words quite yet but that didn’t make it any less true. If he’d believed in God or destiny, he might have thought that they had a hand in this because Spencer seemed to complete him, seemed to fill all those dark places of his soul. He raised their joined hands and pressed a kiss to Spencer’s knuckles.

 

Once they’re through Spencer’s door, it all became a bit of a blur. Aaron’s hands unerringly found Spencer’s hips, pulling the younger man flush against his body and shoving them both up into a wall. There’s teeth and tongues and a little bit of desperation. Chasing that alcohol hazed memory of that night on the train, he licked a stripe down Spencer’s neck and bit down just under the collar of his shirt. Spencer whined, head thrown back, hands scrabbling against Aaron’s back as his hips buck. He managed to squirm out from underneath the onslaught, grabbing Aaron’s hand and leading him down the hall to the bedroom. Aaron doesn’t even look around, his only focus in on the bed, a blessedly full-sized bed that they can sprawl out on and fuck in whatever position they want. He pulled Spencer into another kiss, fingers fumbling with the buttons of his waistcoat before sliding it off his shoulders.

 

“What is with you and layers? There’s always so many layers,” he groused and Spencer threw his head back and laughed. Aaron bit his lip to hold back a grin and stepped away, folding his hands over his chest. “I think you should do a striptease for me. Make it up to me.”

 

Spencer stopped, eyes wide. “You have got to be kidding me, Aaron.”

 

“Nope,” Aaron slid his own jacket off, undid his collar and cuffs and sat on the bed, watching Reid with a hungry expression. “Strip for me, Spencer.”

 

“Do I at least get some music?” Spencer cocked an eyebrow but reached for his tie and Aaron started humming. It takes him a moment but Spencer placed the song, and wouldn’t Morgan be proud of him for not totally failing at pop culture, “Seriously, Aaron, _I Believe in Miracles_?”

 

“Where you from, you sexy thing?” Aaron asked totally straight faced, leaning back on his elbows.

 

“Vegas,” Spencer replied. Toeing off his shoes first, he quickly moved his fingers, flicking open shirt buttons to reveal his undershirt. Aaron groaned in frustration. “Hence the layers. I get cold.”

 

“Summer, Spencer. It’s summer!” Spencer just shrugged and dropped his shirt to the ground before starting on his belt and fly. He left his pants open, hanging off his hips, enjoying the way Aaron’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. The way he reclined on the bed made his erection look utterly obscene and Spencer couldn’t help but moan at the memory of Aaron’s impressive cock filling him.

 

“God, I can’t wait to have you inside me,” he panted, dropping all pretence of going slow, pulling his undershirt over his head and letting his pants drop to the floor. He did an awkward little hopping dance to get rid of his socks before sliding his boxers down to the floor. “You are far too dressed,” he complained, gesturing to Aaron’s still clothed form.

 

“What are you going to do about it?” Aaron asked but he was already pulling his tie from his collar and kicking his shoes across the floor.

 

“I don’t know maybe I should use this time to put on some music. I’m guessing you want Marvin Gaye or Barry White.”

 

“Ok, I’m sorry about the choice of striptease music. I’ll do some research for next time.”

 

“I have always wanted to strip to Bach,” Spencer grinned, reaching out to run a hand down Aaron’s bare chest, admiring the thin line of hair that disappeared into the waistband of his boxer briefs. “I’m thinking Air on the G String.”

 

Aaron barked out a laugh and pulled Spencer down on top of him as they sprawled on the bed. “I would pay to see that.”

 

“Yeah, sure in dollar bills.” Spencer leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Aaron’s mouth that quickly became heated as he finally stripped off Aaron’s boxers. Their tongues tangled and their fingers traced patterns over bare skin. Aaron’s big hands kneaded at Spencer’s ass as their hips rolled, pulling groans from deep within them.

 

“God, Spencer, you don’t know how many times I’ve thought about this. How many times I’ve thought about that night. I –“Aaron broke off with as a gasp as Spencer nibbled at the exact spot on his neck that seemed to be hard wired to his cock.

 

“I’ve thought about it too, Aaron.” Spencer’s voice was low and husky in Aaron’s ear. “All the goddamn time.” Aaron just groaned and flipped them to that Spencer was under him, supporting himself above him and grinding into him, watching the way Spencer’s eyelashes fluttered on his cheeks. “Bedside table,” Spencer’s hand shot out in the direction of the drawer with desperation and Aaron shushed him with a gentle kiss, slowing them down until the only sounds in the room were soft gasps and the sound of skin sliding on cotton sheets. Aaron broke the kiss with a smile, running one finger down the curve of Spencer’s jaw before grabbing lube and a condom from the drawer.

 

“You know,” he started conversationally as he coated his fingers with slick and reached down to circle Spencer’s hole. “Next time I want you inside me.” Spencer groaned at the penetration and the thought of being inside Aaron Hotchner.

 

“Sure, yes, yes. But I need you now, Aaron.” He keened as Aaron added a second finger, relishing the slight burn and the way that Aaron already knew how to play his body. Aaron watched his fingers slowly coaxing Spencer open, the way Spencer rolled into the motion as he added a third finger and stretched him wide. Slipping a condom on, he ran the last bit of slick over his cock before positioning himself at Spencer’s entrance and pushing forward. Both men moaned and Aaron reached up, linking their hands together above Spencer’s head. Pressing their foreheads together and pausing once he was fully sheathed.

 

“You feel so good, Spencer. You feel so damn good.”

 

“Move, god, please, just move.” Aaron rolled his hips experimentally, the little thrusts kept his cock nearly all the way inside, grazing against Spencer’s prostate with every movement, reducing the younger man to a shaking mess of moans. It was too much and not enough at the same time so Aaron pulled back, locked his arms and started thrusting in earnest. The bedsprings squeaked loudly as he fucked into Spencer, the younger man’s nails raking red lines up his back. Spencer wrapped a hand around his own cock, desperately fisting himself.

 

“God yes, Spencer. I’m so close.”

 

“I know, Aaron,” Spencer moaned his name and it completely undid Aaron so that his hips stuttered and he came with a growl. Spencer’s hand started moving faster, attempting to finish himself off but Aaron batted it away, pulled out with a groan and slid down between Spencer’s legs until he could take him in his mouth and swallow him down with a greedy moan. “Holy shit,” Spencer spread his legs as his eyes rolled back in his head and couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting up as he felt Aaron’s throat muscles pulse around him. “That’s it, Aaron. Yes, like that. Just like, shit. Yes, I’m going to come.” Aaron doubled his efforts, tongue lavishing the veiny underside of Spencer cock as he pressed two fingers back into Spencer’s slick hole and the younger man shot down his throat.

 

Swallowing, he laid his forehead against Spencer’s inner thigh and sighed contentedly as he felt long fingers stroke his hair. “I missed you so much,” he murmured again in lieu of those three little words that he knew they weren’t ready to say.

 

“I know, you too.” Spencer pulled him up and kissed him with a fervour that showed that he understood exactly what Aaron meant. Aaron leaned back and carefully pulled the condom off, knotting it and dropping it onto the floor for now. He lay back against the pillows and pulled Spencer in to nestle against his chest. “We should shower,” Spencer noted with a yawn.

 

“In the morning?”

 

“We smell like sex and sweat.”

 

“I know. I think you should smell like this all the time.” Aaron joked but he let Spencer up and followed him to the bathroom for a quick shower before they returned to the bed to snuggle under the covers. “So what changed your mind?” Aaron asked, raking his fingers through Spencer’s hair.

 

“I talked to Morgan about it. You don’t mind?”

 

“Of course not. We agreed we’d tell the team from the outset.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll still have to tell everyone else. Anyway, I asked him if he’d mind. Not that I needed his permission but, actually, I guess we kind of did. He was surprisingly cool with it. Though, I did have to tell him the whole story. I think he was impressed. You shocked him, Aaron. Something about both of us having game.”

 

“I’m so glad that not only the director of the FBI but also my team knows about my sex life,” Aaron rubbed a hand over his eyes.

 

Spencer shifted back, looking nervous. “Oh, so you know I talked to John?”

 

“You? What? No, Dave talked to him.”

 

“Yeah, he called me afterwards to get the whole story.”

 

“Oh God.”

 

“Are you regretting this now?” Spencer sounded small and looked like he was about to curl in on himself.

 

“No, Spencer, god no,” Aaron pulled him back in to snuggle against his chest, entwining their legs. “Sorry, it’s just weird for our private life to be under discussion. And you calling the director by his first name, also a bit weird.”

 

“Ah, yes, that’s not totally my secret to tell but I will tell you the story one day, I promise.”

 

“Good enough for me.”

 

“Good, that’s good. So we’ll tell everyone?”

 

“Yeah, how about this weekend we got out for a team dinner?” Spencer nodded, smiling happily as Aaron lay back on the pillows with no apparent intention of leaving. Yeah, he thought to himself, one hand draped across Aaron’s hips, this’ll work.


End file.
